A tablespoon of spooky and a cup full of amazing!

 

Put your thinking caps on for a moment, have seat and open yourself up because what I'm about to tell you may just blow your mind!...

I was recently led to Sandee by a friend who suggested I contact her because "holy moly she's a REAL Spiritual Medium"!  Yes I hightailed it over to her Facebook page and sent her a message with a quickness.  I have been praying and wishing I would meet a trusted normal person with the incredible abilities we all hear about or watch on television, or the wild ones we see in the movies.  When I finally got to meet this woman I was SO ready.  I'm very aware of the Paranormal but never had enough guidance or help to prove that everything is REAL.  The session I had with Sandee was very intense and amazing because she truly knew everything about my loved ones who have passed.  She knew things that no one knew but myself and my passed loved one.  This would probably freak someone out, but it was the most healing amazing and beautiful experience I could ever have besides giving birth to my children!  Miraculous!

But wait a moment here, I told you to sit down right?  Ok hang on tight, because Sandee had to come back to my home!

After Sandee left she had sensed something that I had sensed a while ago....  Sandee knew more and could explain in perfect detail what was happening in my home.  Have you ever had your lights flicker when your upset or get chills walking through the halls at night?  Have you ever seen your animal get totally freaked out for no reason whatsoever?  Do you feel zapped of energy even after a good night sleep?  Do you ever get woken up by noises or something you cannot explain?...  I HAVE!
Sandee knew this and came right back over!  Did I mention yet how completely fantastic this lady is?  What you need to know about Sandee is that if she comes to your home and finds negative energy or an entity she will remove it for FREE!  All she asks is that you stay positive, her only request when doing so.  Pretty fantastic of her!

Well I hope I can try to explain to you what happened in my home.

Wow.  How do you explain to people what happened to us??  She began the cleansing by sitting down and building my confidence then completely explaining to me what we needed to do and that I not only had negative entities(energies) but I also had a male spirit that would not cross over and be at peace.  (I am starting to get chills thinking about how it started..)  As we walked through the house she and I started getting goosebumps. No.  Honestly, my goosebumps had their own goosebumps!  Then we had the coldest wind you could ever feel, chill to the bones!  So we kept up the cleansing..  I started getting dizzy...  We kept up the cleansing...  We then started sweating... We kept up the cleansing...  We were seriously experiencing the shift of energy in my home and it was INTENSE!!!  With her help and guidance I got through it and this amazing thing happened.  The spirit IS at rest and my home feels like HOME again.  My dog is so much happier and my anxiety is not as active considering I've had the best sleep I've had in a very long time. 

Listen, I'm going to be honest.  There will be spirits around me for a very long time but I know now that with Sandee's help I am protected with only loving positive ones around me. 
One more thing...I have some video that I do not care to share but I assure you my dog felt the shift in my home and I have footage of orbs flying around her!  

Please do not hesitate to have your home cleansed.  Whatever religion you believe in I promise this is truly involved with your own beliefs and will not compromise your convictions.  If you even think you may need a cleansing for yourself, your home, your business...You need to contact Sandee.  She's kind of "life changing" in a very miraculous and positive way.

Meeting with a REAL Paranormal Medium

When you lose someone you love the pain never really goes away.  There are always questions that pass through your mind....  Could you imagine what it would be like to have these questions answered?  To have the wondering cease?  To finally feel peace of mind and closure?

 

Tonight I was given an amazing gift by Sandee.  Some might call it a miracle.   I wanted to meet Sandee because I had grief that was due to many losses, a life full of questions never to be answered....until tonight.

 

I spoke to Sandee the night before and was instantly comfortable with her.  (She's very cool).   I wasn't nervous when she arrived.  She was so pleasant, and was extremely tolerant of my puppy who instantly became quite attached to her.  When we sat down to start talking, it was truly the beginning moment that my life would change.  I must point out that earlier that day, during a meditative moment, I asked my father to bring up camping to confirm he was really with us.    Then at one point in our session Sandee mentioned camping, I had goosebumps from head to toe!  She is blessed with a gift.  I can't begin to tell you how much she knew, and she saw it ALL!  She knew nothing about me beforehand but was eventually shown so much.  She was shown and told things by my friend and loved ones that blew my mind!  How could she know these secrets?  She is blessed with a tremendous and loving gift.  This was such a positive experience and truly a miracle .  This woman, this medium, is a beautiful rare gem.

 

After our session I feel as if I just ran a marathon from the memories and the emotions that came up from 20+ years worth of questions that I've wished could be answered.  What a tremendously wonderful experience.  I feel like I won the lottery of life! 

 

I can start my tomorrow feeling so much peace and closure that I have needed for so long now.  This was honestly life changing in such a positive way!

 

A million thanks to Sandee for this treasured gift.

When Life Gives You Limes....

There's only so much stress and responsibility a woman can take before one thankless day she turns sour about something silly like lemons! Yes lemons. 

There's a running joke in my family about my strange luck.  "I ask life for lemons and it throws me limes".  Yeah, I like my lemons. 

I've been asking my significant other to bring home Yellow Lemons for 6 years and to this very day he shows up with limes.  I'm starting to think he has some deep seeded issues with these lemons.  He must hate them and not want to open up and explain why.  Hmm.  What did these lemons do to him to make him subconsciously or intentionally avoid them? Should I break out some flash cards, find a fruit therapist or am I going to live an existence where only I can go out to face these lemons and wrangle then home. 

Lemons.


*On another note, I believe I can find wisdom in this.  No matter what you wish, you can never change the original structure of something or SOMEONE. ;)

Bitter sweet

Like a little ray of sunshine but a devil in disguise, she introduces herself to me.  Her long braided pigtails swung like long pendulums with every bob of her head.  She was a firery little girl.  She soon would become my very best friend.  She then will grow up and have children of her own.  This little girl doesn't exist anymore, but a different version of her does. 

How can we as little kids plan out our whole lives and still remember those plans as an adult?  I remember all of my plans included every one of my childhood frends.  I remember planning the exact type of guy i would date in High School.  I remember silly plans of getting my career situated after I finished college. Then and only then would I consider marriage.  I remember planning out how, when I eventually got pregnant, I would have so much fun going shopping for baby clothes with my friends, do lunch..... What I was for sure of more than anything was that I was absolutely positive that my children would end up playing with their children.

What happened?????  Well,  I suppose now I can look back and see the actual value in the friendships I've had, even the ones I've lost or strayed from.  I see all the value in the new friendships I've made.  Life is completely different than what my expectations have shown me but in my heart of hearts I know everything happens for a reason and I am truly grateful.  I have everything I need, everyone I need and that's what matters.  I'm blessed to have a true friend and many great acquaintances!  I am blessed to be able to show love and hope I can continue to focus on spreading some sort thanks to those who are in my life, even if it's for a fleating moment.
 

Water can boil but NOT be burnt!

I am intensely fascinated with culinary shows on television. God help you if you want to watch a program and there is a cupcake war on or a boss of cakes scheduled for programing at the same time. You lose that battle with the remote. I consider myself a pretty good cook. If under pressure or if I am not in my own element my cooking skills are then a bit challenged. Also, I know that I really can bake much better than I can cook.

My fascination just continues to grow and my abilities get better with time and of course I will look at everything in some sort of bazaar philosophical way. My life in learning and understanding grows and my fascination with figuring out myself as well as others gets so much easier. I am able to trust myself more, I have tweaked my behaviors and am truly able to see how we evolve as human sponges.

I was peacefully sitting at the dinning room table this morning drinking my warm caffeinated cup of heaven and my mind wandered. I went deep into a happy thought about how I am very much an adult. I thought about the certain naivety I had when I was young. For instance, there was a point in time when I was in boarding school (we all relied on Raman noodles as if they were the last food on earth) and some of my boarding school sisters had come to realize that I honestly thought that a pot of water could burn up if left on the stove too long. Yes, I truly believed this at one point in my life! Although at the time I provided a good laugh for some of my pals, I was well aware that I was totally immature and a failure in the kitchen.

Just like my evolution from embarrassing culinary confessions I have finally evolved from such naive personal ideals. I look at myself, the earth, the universe, people, animals and nature in a whole different light. It's like walking through a long tunnel but I have finally reached the opening and a field full of wonder stands before me! Hence the obsession with providing myself and my family the food of life with pure enjoyment.

Its awesome that in life, even though we can "burn" we also can continue to grow, we learn to make things better.
Live your life.
Never stop yourself from learning.
...........and don't burn the water!!! ;)

Human Soldier

"Stand straight like a soldier" I say to my boys. "Be strong like a soldier" I tell them when I want them to be tough about something. But what does it really mean?

A soldier is a person. A human with skin, blood pumping through his veins, he has thoughts and a thriving spirit. To me, soldiers are humans who transform into super-humans! The decision that a person makes when stepping into the life of a soldier will forever change them. These people will forever amaze me!

My father, my children's grandfather, was a true super-human in every form. I will be delicate when speaking of this angel of mine because I want to protect his memory while telling the truth. The truth is very important to me. He was a man who was very protective. His voice was so loud you felt the vibration in your chest when he spoke. His laugh was contagious! He was a friend to anyone who crossed his path. This was a man who would on occasion invite a stranger for dinner if they needed a meal. My father was more than a man, he was a walking angel. He was sensitive and played the flute. I remember him opening his beautiful case, adjusting the pieces before pulling it towards his lips and there it was......that sound! My father and that sound....

Many nights I would hear my mom and dad laugh and listen to music on the record player for hours until I fell into slumber. This was the happy man I knew, the fun man.

My father was a soldier. A soldier that hated war. I find it important to make sure my dad's story is told. The story we never really heard from beginning to end, the story we heard in bits and pieces enough to satisfy our hearts but for only a moment before the wondering would start up again.

Everything we know through the movies and documentaries about Vietnam is so close to the truth. Another reason I have had a fascination with any type of Vietnam or military movie is my wish to better understand what my soldier father went through. I can't jump inside the mind of man especially now that he is gone but I can for sure learn more to grow closer to him inside my heart.

My father fought a war he did not believe in. My father was sent to another area of our earth. He was commanded to fight humans he did not know and did not hate whatsoever! I know one thing for sure, this soldier fought with his own human instincts the whole time. My father voiced the fact that he was the sole survivor in his entire platoon. I can't even imagine what this soldier was going through. I can't even fathom. I tremble to put down the truth. There was so much death. My soldier father was traumatized in truth. Not one person survived, except for my father, in the group of soldiers he was fighting with. Not one. Soldiers watch their friends die. We then watch a human part of the soldier die. They are never ever the same no matter how hard they try after going through so much.

Agent Orange was a whole other story and my father was affected by it.

My soldier father was injured real bad and that is probably what may have saved his life. At the end of his tour he was sent to Okinawa Japan to a hospital where he would then stay until he was repaired enough to come back home to California.

The war was over for him.... Or was it?

Of course growing up around a soldier father there were some interesting behaviors brought home with him. He never answered me with a yes or no. My dad had always answered "negative" or "affirmative". He always griped about how much time was to be spent in the shower, how things should be folded and many other habits I found funny at a young age.

He was such an amazingly kind and light soul. I dearly love my father and wish with all of my heart that I could just tell him this. But alas, I am. If only he could read these words from the heavens above.

Every time I think of a soldier I think of super human mental strength and physical endurance that puts them on a pedestal high above the ground. If I think of them as just human people with skin and blood, my heart will break without repair.

A soldier is so much more than just a person. I wish with all of my heart that one day our country will take better care of these super-humans! Until then, out of respect for my father and other soldiers who are here or passed, please take EXTRA special care of them. No soldier should ever have to feel fear or worry when they are home.

Next time you see a soldier of war, make sure you give that man or woman the ultimate respect they deserve. They go through so much mental and physical conditioning. It's time to condition their hearts and care for our own because they go through things humans were not programed for.

PEACE & LOVE!

 

A moment of protest & quiet...

Tonight I found myself give up for a moment. Mentally, emotionally and physically drained. I was between two racks of clothes on the floor sitting with my legs crossed......ready to start chanting. Okay I wasn't going to chant but I had finally had it with the stores and the insane lunatic holiday shoppers. I clearly needed a hot second to stop and think.

Me, a THIRTY-FIVE year  old sitting on the dirty floor. In public. My darling life partner was somewhere around the bend looking for a sweater with my son when I had my adult sized tantrum.  I did sit there quietly. Everything in my head went very quiet. I was staring almost perfectly into an opening where dozens of people were crowding a register. All I could think was "Oh my God. This is NOT what Christmas is about!"

As I was sitting there, my head was getting all these thoughts like flashes. I found myself getting physically ill the more I thought about how intensely materialistic we are & how life is not meant to be so freaking technical!  Yes, I am one of "those" people that would be MUCH happier moving to a commune where only problems could arise if there wasn't enough compost or rain.....why can't I just worry about simple things.

I did not cause a scene. I just stopped, literally, in my tracks. Sat down. Between two metal racks. Not one person was near me. I felt extremely alone at that moment too. Why do i have to feel like this? Why do i have to constantly meditate just to get my mind right?? Why can't I get my dad off of my mind right now? I am brought back to a point where all of my self assured confidence flew out the store window!

After what felt like an eternity but was only a couple of minutes, I stood up slowly. Looking around to see if anyone noticed me sitting there like a freak. No one. 

Wait..... That WAS my moment of meditation!!?!!? 

After trying on clothes that will please my significant other and his family, after losing my mind going to different stores looking for specific gifts that grown ups have requested, after spending two days worrying about how I'm going to find the time to bake for extra people, after feeling under the weather but still doing everything without missing a beat.....I think that I was well overdue for some relief!

I guess I can look at it this way, I didn't fall out, I was lead to this spot. God gave me a few moments of peace and truly let me see, once again, what life was truly about. A minute to recharge mySELF.

I was raised a Catholic. I am a Christian. By no means am I one of "those" Christians who proclaim the word of God all day then proceed to be a hypocrite. I believe God is everywhere all the time in everything and everyone! I had to make that clear.  I have found that meditation is the closest I can become to being spiritual, even more so than entering any church out there. Our thoughts are powerful and come from God. There is no arguing this.

After coming home completely spent, I sit down next to my little guy on the couch and start to unwind.  I click the top button on my iPad and begin to check Facebook per usual.  I was then reminded in black and white lettering that I was not alone. I also have found the most amazing loving friends through this network of people. I have been warmly received and do not feel so alone when it comes to real deep matters of the heart. I do not have a strong network of people that back me up in my everyday life. No tight relationships I can count on. The only TRUE BLUE friend that I have as a constant and trust with my life lives hundreds of miles away. I have pleaded with God and universe to bring me some sincere comfort and low and behold he did! We receive exactly what we ask for, it just may happen in an unexpected way or maybe after a long series of events. I may be feeling stress and heavy loss for my dad right now but I'm full of a special kind of peace at the moment.  I couldn't be more grateful once again.

~ I want people to know how incredibly important it is to meditate. I have been doing this for almost a year now (thanks to a couple special ladies in LB who taught me) and it has given me a strong grip on my mental and emotional health. When meditating everything will truly slow down and clear up.
....Oh and please don't follow my lead and drop to the floor when the spiritual need is present but keep in mind that meditation is all in the heart and mind which makes it easy to do ANYWHERE! :)